Gossip
On Wednesday, December 4, 2020 election candidate Grace Cabral was overheard around 8:13 AM EST speaking on her campaign plans. Shortly after discussing confusion on the capitals of America, she proceeded to talk about campaign plans. With doubtful remarks, she informed her editors: “I don’t even know what I’m doing.” Her editors expressed light reactions to this alarming statement, laughing it off. The public now has a big question: how are the voters supposed to rely on a candidate who has ‘no idea’ what they’re doing? Better yet, what candidate doesn’t know the capitals of America? To be a successful fit for the country, one has to be highly informed on American history. However, with her doubt on basic capitals, Cabral showed concerning signs of disregard for important American history. With these statements being a brutal shock to the media, Cabral currently appears unorganized and frazzled to the public. What will she do next to piece her career back together?
The substitute teacher paced the room, unaware of the shocking events taking place in the election offices. As of Thursday, December 5th, 2020 candidate Mizuki Brent left her team hanging at the election offices today. While her team toiled away relentlessly, Brent failed to show up to her usual desk to help carry out the next significant steps of their campaign. One of Brent’s editors, Defne Aslan, questioned the class: “wait, where’s the attendance sheet?” Aslan and Liu, another editor for Brent, looked worriedly around the room for help. While the media has subtle doubts that this could be related to Mizuki’s sudden absence, the shock remains in the voters’ minds; what may have caused the mysterious disappearance? The common public believe that a dedicated candidate must show up to class to prove their loyalty to the country, and so far, this characteristic is lacking. The media awaits further actions from the Brent team; stay tuned for updating articles.
Tuesday morning, front running candidate Gideon Helf was found to be a member of the illuminati. Spectators of one of his recent debates overheard him talking with his fellow illuminati behind stage beforehand. Before he closed his jacket, witnesses saw a glimpse of the familiar triangle badge with an eye emblazoned in the middle: the sign of the illuminati.
After he entered on stage, the gossip media received access to backstage cameras and overheard the voice of Helf whisper “Stop calling me Gideon, my real name is Jerry.” After further research, the media discovered that illuminati members commonly conceal their identification through fake names and other disguised personal features.
Cabral, another candidate in the same office noted upon hearing the news: “That sounds very suspicious, I tend to be respectful towards all of my candidates, but a member of the illuminati doesn’t seem like someone who is a good fit for the presidency.”
The Daily Derenberger has yet to update this article on further information.
After the media released gossip articles aimed at candidates, they decided to take a closer look on Ali Hammoud. To the media’s surprise, they discovered a groundbreaking truth. Hammoud had been keeping unexpected secrets from the voters. Looking for possible news ideas on Tuesday, main editor Mia Friedman looked around the room, hoping to take photos for future articles. As she passed by Hammoud’s table, she spotted Hammoud contacting his fellow hackers via email and other forms of social platforms. As his fingers moved rapidly across the keyboard, green lettered code language appeared on the screen and his eyes darted back and forth from the email tab to the document where he was developing his hack code. Friedman peered closer and spotted numerous photos of other candidates and their personal identification, (these included addresses, Facebook info, and schools they went to), flashing onto the Acer Chromebook screen. Before she got too much information, Hammoud quickly turned around and shut his computer, in hopes to keep his secret. Friedman rushed back to the media table, looking flustered, as she struggled to get out words on what she had just witnessed.